Meet me under the mistletoe (a chat with Evans)
by scaredofrobots
Summary: Meet me under the mistletoe (a chat with Evans) or The How the First Year Fight Club of 1977 began


"That isn't what people do under mistletoe, Sirius," Lily Evans' voice rang out late one September night across the Hogwarts grounds.

"Yes it is Evans, and you can't tell me otherwise,' Sirius drawled and set down the bottle of firewhiskey

"You do not fight under mistletoe! You kiss...people kiss under mistletoe!" she laughed and continued her meticulous glittering of another ornament

"Remus would never lie to me" Sirius accused, "He said that in ancient times if you were found to be under mistletoe with someone you had to duel them."

Lily laughed again and just missed spilling firewhiskey into the glitter as she reached for it, "I think Remus is just trying to avoid snogging you"

"Mistletoe is for kissing" Lily told him pointedly "Just like you are here to help me make these ornaments, get to work you sod- it's nearly October and I will not get behind this year."

By the time the first sprigs of mistletoe appeared on the school grounds, Lily had all but forgotten the September argument. October had been the most dramatic pre-Christmas preparation she'd ever endured and between head girl duties, snogging James and trying to figure out what the fuck she was going to do with her life she had little time for Sirius Black's inane theories.

Until on December 11th, she found herself underneath a sprig of mistletoe.

With Severus Snape.

It was her fault, really. He'd been trying to talk to her again and she'd ducked into an alcove and he had followed her. He, of course, had noticed the mistletoe right away and told her "well Lily maybe your feelings will tell you the truth. I know how much stock you hold in Christmas traditions"

Thankful that her best mate was such an idiot (and that he insisted on combat lessons), Lily quickly removed Snape's hands from her waist, stomped on his foot and flipped him over her head onto his back.

"Yes. I am quite a fan of the old MUGGLE tradition of fighting under the mistletoe. Cheers, Snivilleus."

And she promptly, bravely, ran away.

Lily had been so flustered that she hadn't noticed the group of Gryffindor first years who witnessed the whole thing.

This particular pack of first year Gryffindors had been enamoured of the Marauders since the first feast. Really since the train ride. They'd heard the legend of the tap dancing squid and a multitude of pranks. They wanted to learn all they could from these legends in their minds before they left so they could take over as the purveyors of mischief.

This meant, that at many points in any given day- they would be following the marauders about the castle. Lily had become a part of this rotation somewhere in the middle of November once it was revealed she was just as mischievous when they saw her tricking Peeves into painting the great hall Christmas colors for a bet she'd made with Sirius.

When Lily Evans announced that there was a tradition of fighting under mistletoe. All of their first year dreams came true.

Lily had all but forgotten the Snape incident come dinner time. She's gotten into an intense debate with a Ravenclaw about ethics in potions and couldn't stop thinking about it and had done some light research in the library to prove that Bitch wrong.

When she finally arrived at dinner she was reminded with Sirius' pointed question, "Don't you have something to tell us Evans"

"I told you at breakfast your hair looks exceptionally silky today, Sirius. What more do you want from me?"

"Well the rat pack was all a buzz about how you kicked Snapes arse." Sirius declared

"Oh. That. Well a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do."

"You told me that mistletoe was not for fighting!"

Sirius said and slammed his hand on the table

"Well I forgot the old story my dad told me about the mistletoe gang. But I remembered when Snape cornered me under it" Lily huffed

"He cornered you?" James interjected lowly with a bit of an edge to his voice

Rolling her eyes Lily told him, "Yes and I handled it just like I always do. No need for you to get detention because you've got to be a bloody hero"

"But I'm your bloody hero," James whined, "A shame really. That mistletoe means fighting. I was looking forward to some Mistletoe snoga"

"You don't need mistletoe to snog me James," Lily blushed and moved towards him. Just as their lips were touching they were interrupted

"SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO EAT YOU KNOW!"

"You tell them Wormy"

James and Lily pulled away and were surprised to see Peter there. "Oh, Pete- when did you get here?" lily asked kindly

"I've been here the whole time," Peter complained.

"He was too busy stuffing his face," Sirius said dismissively, "Anyway… my prodigy- Tommy Boils"

"It's protege" Remus interrupted from his novel, "protege"

"Yes, Yes whatever," Sirius began again "my prototype- Tommy Boils told me that they are very excited by the possibilities of this mistletoe fighting. Especially since they've got the blessing of the Head Girl."

Lily suddenly got nervous, "They won't be bad fights right? Just a bit of fun? I should go tell them it wasn't-"

"Nay! Evans. They're Gryffindors. The fights will be chivalrous. Plus I told them if they got caught to keep you name off their lips" Sirius grinned

"Yeah, Love- they're eleven. What could possibly go wrong?" James asked

Four days later, the hospital wing was overrun with injured first years. None of the professors could figure out what had caused the sudden influx of violence. None of the first years would talk about why. They kept saying "I ain't a dirty rat".

Minerva was incensed. She put Lily and James in charge of creating a task force amongst the prefects to "get to the bottom of this". James couldn't stop laughing about it. He had begun hanging extra mistletoe places just to see how many fights could occur before another prefect came along.

By this point Lily was in a full blown panic.

She'd fucked up.

As head girl.

She had unwittingly started this bloody madness .

And now she had to end it.

Where the fuck was Tommy Boils? The first person she went to to find Tommy was a usually sweet first year named Rupert who told Lily "If you want to see the godfatha it'll cost you"

Lily had no idea when Rupert stopped talking like he was from Chelsea and had attended the most posh boarding schools and started to sound like he'd grown up in the alleyways of New York.

Shaking that thought Lily asked, "Listen Rupert, I really need to know"

"Listen, LADY," Rupert said, "I'm tryin to walk to class here so if you'd just move along I'll see what I can do."

And Rupert blasted past her and down the hallway yelling at several passersby to "LEARN HOW TO WALK IN A CORRIDOR FOR CHRISSAKES"

Since Rupert was a bust, Lily decided that Sirius might now where is protegee was. She found Sirius in the library. She approached him and couldn't keep the edge out of her voice

"Right, Sirius, where is Tommy? Lily asked

"Who?" was the unhelpful response

"Tommy, your protege?"

"Oh, TOMMY, I don't know him," Sirius responded and slammed his book shut, "I used to know a sweet young lad from New York, who was trying to navigate a new world. But then my little preamble outgrew me. He started a fighting ring, Lily, that has turned a pretty profit. And now- now he is referring to himself as the Godfather."

"Ok, look I get you're upset but I have to find him to stop this madness," Lily started and was interrupted by a quiet voice, "He holds court in the old charms classroom."

"Oh, Pete! When did you get here?" Sirius asked

"I've been here the whole time!" Peter whined.

"Well- Thanks….I guess I'm off to see the Godfather," and Lily started out

"GO TO THE KITCHEN AND ASK FOR A CANNOLI!" Peter yelled after her, "HES MORE LIKELY TO BE AGREEABLE ON A FULL STOMACH."

"WAIT EVANS! I am coming with you! He's my spawn that has gotten out of control and I aim to fix it!"

And without further ado they headed to the kitchens.

Cannoli in hand, they waited in line to see Tommy Boils for thirty minutes.

By the time the door opened and they were ushered inside. Sirius was seething. Lily found herself midly amused and slightly jealous at the production of the whole thing.

"Come in come in," a small voice rasped and they approached two chairs in front of a desk.

Behind the desk they faced the back of a chair that seemed to be on wheels.

"Turn me," the voice rasped out and two Hufflepuff first years rushed forward and turned the chair around.

Tommy's face was barely visible above the tall desk and both Lily and Sirius couldn't help the chuckles that erupted.

"Leave us!" Tommy ordered and the Hufflepuffs rush out

"You come here, on this the day of my mother's birth and dare to insult me!" Tommy demanded and Lily and Sirius stopped laughing.

Tommy awkwardly jumped out of his chair and came to the front of the desk to lean. On his way he picked up a cigar and lit it.

Lily had moved from amused. To horrified. Sirius looked vaguely impressed.

"You may place the cannoli on the desk," Tommy offered and Lily complied, "So what is our business here?"

"Well, Tommy," Lily started-

"Call me Godfather, please" Tommy retorted and Sirius erupted, "Listen here you little shit. This mistletoe fighting is out of control. Minnie is wise to the scam and the jig is up. Take your ponies out of town and get a new game."

Lily looked at him mystified, "What Sirius is TRYING to say is. We need the mistletoe fighting to stop. Please."

Tommy looked at both of them and asked, "Well what do I get out of it?"

"Well I won't have to give you detention for the rest of the year," Lily offered

"And I won't kick your arse." Sirius finished

"He won't kick your arse regardless, but we need the fighting to stop," Lily stated

"I will stop the fighting on one condition," Tommy started, "I want that little shit Ben Moyer to get what is coming to him. Bring me his broom and I will make all of this go away. You're dismissed!"

And Tommy Boils knocked on his desk twice. The two Hufflepuffs appeared again and escorted Lily and James out of the Godfather's lair.

The next night, Lily and Sirius found themselves outside of the Slytherin dormitory.

"I can't believe we are about to steal an eleven year olds broom," Sirius whispered

"A kid broke three ribs in a fight today, I have no choice," Lily whisper yelled back

"If you were this much fun when we were eleven- we'd already be married by now," was the honest retort

"Shut the fuck up" Lily hissed and she threw James' cloak over both of them.

They slipped in behind a Slytherin and quietly crept into the Slytherin common room.

"Where Do first years sleep?" Lily asked

"I don't know. They didn't go over that in my Black Family orientation."

"Up the steps and to the right," Pete answered

"Oh Pete- how did you get here?" Was the chorused response

"IVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME" he nearly bellowed

"No need to get your knickers in a twist," Sirius groaned

"I'll have you know I add a lot to this group dynamic!" Peter insisted

"Then go get the bloody broom!"

Peter scurried is the stairs and Lily and Sirius took the opportunity to vanish all the common room furniture. Lily was in the middle of writing "Slytherins are wankstains" in Ravenclaw colors when they heard Pete returning.

"GOGOGO! He's huge and he saw me!"

Leaving the graffiti half finished and the curtains half shredded. They threw the cloak back on and ran out the door.

Tommy Boils was holding court in the common room that evening, thankfully. So they didn't have to search the castle for him.

They approached his makeshift throne next to the fireplace and presented him with the broom.

"Here you go you little shit" Sirius announced unceremoniously.

"You have done The Godfather a great service"

Tommy announced as he picked up the broom, "You are both under the protection of my family-"

A throat cleared "Oh Peter. I did not see you there"

"I've been here the whole time! And I got the broom"

Tommy continued "I will protect all three of you and ensure the senseless mistletoe violence is ended!"

Cheers erupted in the common room.

"Thank you, Tommy!" Lily exclaimed and finally felt some relief.

"You may kiss my ring," Tommy offered

"No thank you!" Lily quipped and turned her back on The Godfather and made her way to her boyfriend who was sitting in another corner of the common room looking vaguely disappointed.

He rose an eyebrow, "I still think my idea was better"

Lily dismissed him, "You always think your ideas are better."

James stood and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her hands went to his neck in kind.

"I just think the grand gesture of Head Boy and Head Girl standing together in unity- announcing that 'mistletoe at Hogwarts would henceforth be for snogging only' would go a long way"

"You just want to snog me in front of the entire student body," Lily argued

"That I do, but we'll start small," and he captured her lips in a perfect sweet kiss.

The next morning at breakfast, however, James' post "MISTLETOE IS FOR SNOGGING" announcement kiss was one that got a standing ovation. And three weeks detention for the Head Boy and Girl.


End file.
